Suze Bragg

Saying No: Learning to communicate effectively

There are 4 types of communication styles used in the work environment.  Whether you achieve your goals and succeed as a manager (or an employee) depends on which style you use, how you use it, and which words you choose.  It sounds so simple, doesn't it?  

1. aggressive - where you win and everybody else loses
2. passive - where you lose and everybody else wins
3. passive aggressive - where you lose and you do everything you can (without being too obvious) to make others lose too (note: it's always obvious)
4. assertive - where everybody wins

Being any of the first three types brings about two results:  people tolerate you, but don't like you (and therefore ignore your requests or work around you) or people barely tolerate you and obviously don't like you.  Either way it's career suicide. 

But how do you act assertive if you don't feel that way?  What if you're brought up to believe that you must "make nice" with everyone around you, or you don't have the confidence to bring forth your ideas? Instead of biting off a huge chunk and feeling overwhelmed, how about starting small.  You know...baby steps.  Here are 6 ways to begin:

1. You're always in control of how you react to situations. If someone is charging you, duck. If someone is taunting you in the workplace, confront with questions.

2. Investigate training options. There's many courses offered through human resource agencies that can train you on how to be assertive with your ideas. It takes practice, and in these insistances they provide it.

3. Project a positive attitude. Not quite the cheerleader excited, but the quiet, "We'll make this happen and we'll succeed" excited. It's physics: you are what you think.

4. Creating a positive impression helps others respect you. If someone is talking down to you, or interrupting you, or generally being a jerk to you, call a time out and ask why. Use techniques like physically holding your hand up to signal stop and ask to be heard. Don't think you can do it? Try it once with the belief that you can and you'll be amazed by the results.

5. Use positive body language. Stand up straight and smile. Yes, it's that simple.

6.  Say No.  Go ahead, say it. No.  It feels good, doesn't it?

More information:
Being assertive:  reduce stress and communicate better through assertiveness
Learning to be assertive
Saying no

Posted by Suze Bragg on July 23, 2008 | Comments (0)