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Key Elements in Developing the Next Generation: Identity
March 26, 2008
When our families begin to act like families again and take responsibility for the development of our children, we will begin to see a change in the dysfunctional behaviors and patterns in family businesses that keep me employed. You see, if you want your family members to become capable, competent, committed, and available potential successors to the family business legacy, it’s going to require that you recognize them as the single most important asset in your life. The business is a secondary asset and represents financial capital that is secondary to the personal, intellectual, emotional and spiritual capital that exists in the members of your family. Financial and business capital is only a tool that allows you greater latitude in the development of the members of your family. By itself, it cannot cultivate your children or preserve your family. Learning how to run the business is the easy part. Learning to be a great person who is chock full of character and values and is capable of leading others…now, that’s difficult.
In my last post I discussed the importance of developing independence and interdependence in your potential successors. It’s important to understand that rebellious behavior exhibited by your potential family successors is not a reflection of independence at all…rather, that is evidence of a desire to not be controlled and a statement that says, “I want so desperately to be independent, and I can’t seem to find a way to achieve that under your control. So therefore, I’ll show you that I cannot be controlled.” At the root of this unfulfilled desire to be independent is another key indicator to evaluate in your potential successors – a separate and solid sense of identity.
Independence and identity can be evaluated by asking some more questions:
- Have I enabled my children beyond their ability?
- Am I paying them more than they would be compensated in a similar job outside the family business?
- Do they exhibit an entitlement attitude?
- Do they come to me for financial help?
- Are they dependent upon me?
Mom/Dads, check your own issues here! Do you have a need to be needed? Do you enable your children because you can? Does it make you feel powerful, important or needed in the lives of your children? Does helping them alleviate guilt you feel for neglecting them?
How do you know if your successor has a solid sense of identity? Ask:
- Do my potential family successors exhibit self-awareness?
- Do they know who they are apart from the family and the family business?
- Are they seeking their own calling in life, or are they trying to fulfill my dreams in an ongoing effort to win my approval?
- Is their work a calling or is it simply a way to earn a wage?
In the next post we’ll take a look at humility.
Posted by Jeff Faulkner on March 26, 2008 | Comments (0)
