Jeff Faulkner

Family Business Roles: Part I
February 26, 2008

I was in a meeting with a second generation business owner, the son of a co-founder, in a family business. His brother and cousin are involved in the business, so I asked what I thought was a simple set of questions:

“What position are you in?” “General Manager.” 
“Your brother?” “Vice President.”
“Of What?” I thought. “How about your cousin?”
“General Manager.”
“You said you were the General Manager?” 
“My cousin really plays the role of General Manager because he deals with the people and day to day operations. I look at the business from the financial and administrative perspective.” 
“Who has control?” “My uncle.” 
“How old is he?” “87.”

This illustrates the rule in family businesses rather than the exception – a family business that is out of balance, exhibited by poor role definition.

In this week’s posts I’m going to discuss family roles in the business. First, it will be helpful to gain an understanding of the multitude of roles that exist. There are family member roles, family business roles, and family dysfunction roles that play out in both arenas. Here are the family roles: 

Parents – Role-model for your children. They are looking to you for what it means to be a man or woman. It’s your job to validate and initiate them into adulthood. You’ve got to let them know that you love them, are proud of them, and instill in them the assurance that they’ve got what it takes. They are not going to get this anywhere else. It’s your job. You will have to help them develop their own individual identity. There are far too many kids in adult bodies in family businesses because dad or mom neglected them while building a business. Make business decisions with your head, but keep your heart focused on your home. 

Children – Fulfill the future. Honor your parents. If you were neglected you while they were building the business, or attempted to control you with business accountability, then it’s understandably difficult to honor them. Some children react with anger/rebellion to prove they will not be controlled. Others react with ultra compliance to win dad’s approval (heart). If your parents were/are not honorable in your mind, you may need help starting over with your family so you don’t carry on a negative legacy.

Brothers/Sisters – Grow and develop yourself without killing your brother or sister. If sibling rivalry is an issue, seek professional help to grow through your differences.

Uncles/Aunts – Model and mentor. Understand that you’ll fare better with your nieces/nephews than you will with your own kids. Play to your strengths and recruit your brothers/sisters to reciprocate in mentoring your kids. 

Cousins – Understand your differences, reconcile them, and build a cooperative cousin consortium.

In-Laws – Your role is simple. Avoid the land-mines. Do this by learning the family dynamics you have stepped into.

In the next post, I will describe the business roles.

Posted by Jeff Faulkner on February 26, 2008 | Comments (0)