Dan Schneider

Mixed Messages and Conflict: Succession Success In Peril
June 6, 2008

A few years ago, I was doing some conflict resolution work with a client, her family, and their Very Special Key Managers within the business. As would any objective outsider, I could tell what was going on and what important topics (Successor Development, Leadership Continuity, Family Dynamics) weren’t being talked about openly in an attempt to avoid conflict.

The Management Team couldn’t find a way to let the owner know her three children were not yet ready for their roles. The children operated from a deep sense of entitlement, and they knew how to use it to their advantage with Mom and Dad.

Basically, there are five ways to deal with conflict; and each of us has his/her preferred method. In this case, people were simply choosing to avoid the “elephant in the room” discussion.” To get that conversation started, we used some graphic assessment tools (visual communications) to help everyone see and feel (sensory communications) the need to better understand (factual communications) how to constructively engage in conflict (emotional communications).

If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are some steps that will help move everyone forward and toward the intent of the succession plan.  Use a format similar to the Conflict Resolution Matrix™ shown below to identify the issue(s) in conflict and then map out a strategy for moving people from wherever they are to where they need to be.

“Conflict Resolution Matrix,^" Dan Schneider, FamilyBusinessResourceCenter, All Rights Reserved. This information is provided as an example and is not to be reproduced without the written consent of Dan Schneider or Family Business Resource Center.

Next, identify the factual and emotional reasons that people are using to justify their actions. How do you do this? The old fashioned way. You ask them (oral communications skills); and then you listen (auditory communications skills).

Begin by sharing with each individual what’s important to you about the portion of the succession plan that’s causing conflict. Then ask them what’s important to them. Do this with each person involved, and you’ll have a much better handle on what kind of strategy you need going forward. If you’re not sure you understand the message, use clarifying and confirming questions to make sure the two of you are communicating effectively.

Will this approach work every time? Probably not; but it will work most of the time. That means most conflict will be resolved without lasting damage to the people involved in your succession plans. Resolved conflict makes for happier holidays.

Posted by Dan Schneider on June 6, 2008 | Comments (0)