Jeff Faulkner

9 Tips to Rising above Sibling Rivalry
October 11, 2007

I am often working with 2^nd generation siblings who are struggling with their control freak mom/dad’s over the business. When the kids are made out of the same silk as their parents, there are challenges as the kids are bucking broncos who want to make it happen on their own and their parents don’t think they’ve got what it takes. Many times it’s the fact that mom/dad isn’t sure the kids are going to be able to work together, which makes them hesitant. If you find yourself in this situation, below are a few tips that will help you develop as a sibling partnership and earn the respect of your parents along the way:

• Tip 1 – Work as a sibling unit to develop as a self-directed and self-governing team, regardless of what position you are currently in. All parents want their kids to be independent. It’s important that you understand that it’s not easy for them to allow you to be independent. The more independent teamwork you display, the easier it will be for them to allow you to grow into an adult to adult relationship with them.

• Tip 2 – Make the first move. As the identified successors, work as a team to take initiative and show responsibility in developing yourselves as competent managers, effective leaders, and an effective partnership team.

• Tip 3 – Subordinate your personal needs to the greater good of the business. As a successor, recognize that you will be taking on the stewardship responsibility of the business. The business represents more than what it can do for you. There are many employees, their families, vendors, and a community that depend on a relationship with your business. 

• Tip 4 – Recognize the contribution each of your siblings makes. Unless your sibling is a total loafer, which very well may be the case, look to find and praise the contributions they are making.

• Tip 5 – Focus on your opportunities, not on what you’re not getting. Nobody likes a whiner, especially when they are the entitled brat child of a business owner. Recognize that the opportunities you have are one in a million and wear it with humility.

• Tip 6 – Learn to communicate and handle conflict with your siblings effectively. The absence of communication to keep peace is not effective. You must learn to navigate conflict successfully. When you do, it builds confidence in your ability to function effectively as a team. You may need to set provisions for breaking a dead-lock. 

• Tip 8 – Clearly define your roles and areas of responsibility. No one respects the child of an owner who’s in a “daddy job.” Make sure you and your siblings are qualified for a legitimate role and make a contribution to the bottom line.

• Tip 9 – Keep your in-laws from becoming out-laws.Most of what occurs in a sibling partnership must stay in the business to protect naturally supportive and hypersensitive spouses from over reaction to everyday heated discourse between siblings.

Posted by Jeff Faulkner on October 11, 2007 | Comments (0)