Jeff Faulkner

The Siblings' Role: How to Prevent Sibling Rivalry in Family Business
October 9, 2007

Siblings in business who are experiencing rivalry issues have simply not recognized that they are now adults and have carried the petty issues of their childhood with them into the business. When you become an adult, you have to put away childish things. Sibling rivalries in family business often find their root in a competition to win mom/dad’s approval. It’s time to recognize that you are in business together, fighting for the survival and success of the business, and you must spend more time winning each other’s approval than your parents.

Siblings, more often than not, grew up together. They shared parents, lived in the same house, shared a bathroom, and even the same bedroom. Therefore, there is generally a high level of emo-active behaviors among siblings. When these emotional issues are recognized, siblings will be able to find a way to work together effectively and develop an actual sibling partnership. 

There are many principles to making a sibling partnership work. Here are a few of them:

• Develop a unified vision.The key to a sibling partnership is the same as any partnership: a commitment to common core values, fundamental respect, communication and unified vision.In the absence of unified vision, you inevitably have vision conflict. If the sibling partners aren’t clear on where they are going, the company will never get there.

• Choose to rise above sibling rivalry. An effective sibling partnership cannot be imposed; it must be the choice of the participating siblings. As siblings in business together, you must choose to rise above rivalry. It won’t happen by chance.

• Work hard to earn the respect of your siblings. Harmonious sibling partnerships are based upon an understanding that respect cannot be given or bequeathed. It must be earned.

• Give your siblings the benefit of the doubt.The key to respect among siblings are trust, appreciation and acceptance of a renowned “rock and roll” philosophy: “He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.”

• Practice situational humility.Successful sibling partnerships require knowing when to” hold ‘em” and knowing when to “fold ‘em.”

• Seek first to understand, then to be understood.Effective sibling communication depends upon a willingness to listen with understanding, not just awaiting your turn to talk.

• Focus on the success of the partnership.The success of a sibling partnership will be dependent upon each sibling’s ability to focus on the success of the partnership and not their individual rights or entitlements. 

Understanding and adhering to these principles will assist you in preventing sibling rivalry from raising its ugly head and negatively impacting business productivity.

Posted by Jeff Faulkner on October 9, 2007 | Comments (0)