Dave Ciambella

Triangulation: How Often Does This Happen in Your Organization?
February 21, 2008

Have you ever had a time when your mother or father used you as a conduit to obtain information from another family member employee? In the family business arena this happens more often than you would think. Many years ago, I encountered a family who owned a successful construction business. The parents were actively involved in the business along with their two children. In this particular case the father was the driver of the business and was relentless following up on daily assignments he delegated to his children. He started the business over thirty years ago and has poured his entire life into the business. One child (we will call Harry) was focused and committed to the business while the other child (we will call Tom) was a procrastinator who was more interested in hobbies outside of the business (i.e. golf and fishing).

As you would expect there was a great deal of frustration Dad experienced with Tom. You see, Dad expected everything to be done yesterday and Tom wanted to do things on his time table. In an effort to minimize confrontations with Tom, Dad would often approach Harry and ask him to ask Tom how he was coming along with a particular assignment Dad had given him. Needless to say, Tom was thrust into an uncomfortable position between his brother and father. This is an example of triangulation at its best!

If this happens in your family business, consider making the following adjustments:

1. Communicate openly with your parents. Let them know this is not only uncomfortable and potentially damaging to your sibling relationship but it is also disruptive to your work flow.
2. Parents, if the above story describes you, consider establishing a specific date you would like a task to be completed by your child.
3. Ask your child if the specified date is realistic in light of their existing work load. If it is, hold him or her accountable and follow up directly, not through another family member.

Posted by Dave Ciambella on February 21, 2008 | Comments (0)