Ricci M. Victorio

Dear Ricci – How do I bring my son back into the business after having to fire him?
June 27, 2008

Dear Ricci:

My relationship drastically dissolved with my son several years ago after circumstances caused me to fire him rather than losing half of my management team. He has been full of resentment, claims he was “thrown under the bus” by jealous managers and has blamed me personally for ruining his career. I realize now that I botched it completely – instead of taking the time to investigate the situation, I reacted hastily and made a poor decision.

Recently I shared this difficult realization with my son and we have gingerly begun bridging the chasm that was between us. We would both like to give it another try and bring him back into the business, however I still have many of the same managers working for me. My son is willing but nervous and so am I. Is there any chance this can be successful? E.W.

Dear E.W.

Even under the best circumstances, this is a precarious situation. Without understanding the full historical scope, I cannot say that this will have a positive outcome. However, IF your son has gotten the appropriate training, and IF he has been working outside your business to gain the right experience and IF he is willing to be humble enough to submit to a successor development plan, there might just be a way to achieve your dream. There are some important steps that will be required from everyone involved:

1. First establish clear and defined expectations between the two of you, making very specific agreements how you want to interact with each other, appropriate and inappropriate behaviors, what you expect him to achieve and how you expect him to get there. An experienced succession facilitator will pave the way for a positive, fair and objective outcome.
2. Meet with each of your senior managers individually, and then with the management team as a group, to let them know you have reconciled and making a commitment to succession.
3. Establish a mentor team of two or three senior managers who you feel will provide honest, fair and realistic guidance for your son. Establish written expectations, goals, measures of accountability and incentives to encourage their enthusiasm and willingness to take on this formidable task.
4. Have this team develop a 2-5 year successor curriculum to define the steps for your son’s progression through the organization. Each position should have a written job description, expectations of achievement, accountability measures and pay plan/benefits that fit the position.
5. No matter what position your son held before, start him in a position where he can learn from a senior manager, earn his pay and demonstrate his willingness to do whatever it takes to learn the business and become a part of the team. Remember, he will fail if you let him take the elevator to the top – he must take the stairs!
6. Honor the chain of command. Although the temptation to intervene when there are difficulties, you will do both your managers and your son an extreme disservice if you do not let them work it out on their own.
7. Respect each other’s boundaries – define an appropriate time and place to discuss business affairs, and allow for family time. Remember, you have more than your business relationship to repair and develop.

Lastly, and most importantly, it is paramount that you both make a commitment that, no matter what happens at work, there is ultimately no business gain worth a family loss. Businesses and careers can be found aplenty, but you only have one family. Keep your priorities in order and don’t lose sight of the greater picture. Good luck!

Posted by Ricci M. Victorio on June 27, 2008 | Comments (0)