Ricci M. Victorio

Dear Ricci: How can you achieve the win/win when your family is at war?
August 20, 2008

Where am I going with this? As with many families I have helped through this situation, you’re standing at the precipice of resolution – a hair’s breathe away from putting all of the conflict you have endured behind you and creating a new vision of the future: a family reunited and commitment to succession for the family business. And then, a very sad thing occurs: everyone gets cold feet, backs away from the table and digs their heels in to their original postures. What happened? Why? Whose fault is it?

Does it work to point fingers at each other? No, I think not. Can you look at yourself for just a moment and find out how you participated to reach this current position? Every time you met, you made small but steady progress by sitting across the table, face to face, reconnecting, reminding yourselves of the importance of family and remembering how much you missed each other. Each time you stepped away from the table, you reverted back to the old (and maybe more familiar) behaviors and positions.

If you have found yourself at this junction, think about this question one more time: What is the bottom line, single most important accomplishment you would like to achieve? An experienced family business advisor can facilitate this type of discussion to help you have a non-litigious, objective meeting. If each family member can narrow their list down to one fundamental objective, without all of the conditions and accusations attached, there just might be a way to bridge the gap through private mediation, rather than the public venue of the court system.

Posted by Ricci M. Victorio on August 20, 2008 | Comments (0)