Jeff Faulkner

Family Business is an Oxymoron Part 1 - Understand the Contradiction
September 8, 2008

Note that the word "family" comes before "business" in the term "family business." It's a trite observation with enormous significance. Family dynamics that complicate our personal lives are even more intense when family members come together in a business environment.

Mix these family dynamics up into a family business and you get one of several results:

• A heck of a formidable family business team
• A completely dysfunctional mess of family relationships where individuals couldn’t interact with one another in a healthy way if their very lives depended on it
• Something in the middle that is mediocre, unfulfilling, smells something like monkeys at the zoo, and creates a business environment that is no longer driven by performance.

 Those are your choices and the fact of the matter is that the odds are stacked against you. So, what do you do about it? Understand the Natural Contradiction,-“Family Business” is, in fact, an oxymoron.

Family

A family, assuming it’s relatively healthy (big assumption), classically offers an environment characterized by a high degree of unconditional acceptance. In other words, as a member of a healthy family, there is a great sense of security with establishing individual identities and paths in life. And really, no matter what you do, you know you have a place to hang your hat. Your family loves you, cares about you, and supports you in just about anything you choose to do, even when your choices are bad and don’t make sense – solely because you are family.

Business

In striking contradiction, a business, assuming it’s relatively healthy (another big assumption), represents an environment of conditional acceptance. Business requires conditions for everything, including responsibility, authority and compensation for contributions toward the achievement of business goals. If you don’t measure up to performance standards and become increasingly aligned with the mission of the business, you’re likely to find yourself working on your resume in anticipation of a search for a new job.

So, evaluate your own family business in light of this oxymoron and determine where you might be out of balance. Most family businesses are out of balance in the direction of applying unconditional family acceptance within the context of the business. Many others are out of balance in the other direction applying the conditional acceptance and accountability of business in the context of the family. Once you determine where you are out of balance, you can begin to address the issues that are causing the imbalance.

Posted by Jeff Faulkner on September 8, 2008 | Comments (0)