Jeff Faulkner

He’s My Brother … and He’s Heavy! – 10 Steps to Effective Sibling Partnerships
September 7, 2007

The song “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” does not reflect what I see in most sibling partnerships. The reality is there is often resentment and hard feelings between brothers and sisters that can be hard to overcome.

Effective sibling partnerships will not happen by default. If you are a part of a sibling partnership or anticipate being in one in the near future, you must understand that your relationship, just like any other relationship, will require a significant amount of effort. Natural behavior is to be competitive, self promoting and self serving. It takes a purposeful, dedicated effort to achieve win/win with siblings and there are many factors that lead to the effectiveness of sibling partnerships.

Below are ten fundamental suggestions to establish and sustain an effective working relationship with one or more siblings:

1. Make a personal decision to rise above sibling rivalry. Recognize you are in business together fighting for the success. If you divert your energies from this focal point you will bear part of the cost. If the disconnect with your sibling runs deep, admit it, and seek professional help together.
2. Engage in Family Strategic Planning. Establish a “shared vision” of your future together.
3. Agree upon a Leadership Model. Whether you take the more traditional route of one sibling being the leader, or the more contemporary co-CEO approach, make sure you agree upon the basic model and how it will work.
4. Create behavior and attitude Covenants. These covenants will confirm how you interact with one another, how you communicate, make decisions together, resolve conflict, hold each other accountable, and support one another with respect to the senior managers and employees.
5. Establish a Supporting Outside Board to facilitate debate and provide a resolution to deadlock.
6. Develop a comprehensive Family Business Employment Policy to determine how your children will be treated in the family’s business.
7. Document all agreements regarding compensation, responsibilities, stock transfer capability and the disposition of stock in the event of death, disability or retirement. 
8. Acknowledge that you can agree to disagree.
9. Address the impact of spouses on harmony and teamwork. Far too many sibling issues are really an in-law issue. 
10. Agree upon an Exit Strategy. 

Putting these Best Practices in motion will serve to provide you with a firm foundation for future partnership and business growth.

If you have been in a sibling partnership that has gone awry, realize that it’s never too late to pull it together. It will require coming out of your comfort zone, but with resolve and determination you can forge unity and maybe even harmony. You may need the services of an outside facilitator to help you work through the issues but just like any relationship, it is worth the investment. 

Posted by Jeff Faulkner on September 7, 2007 | Comments (0)