Gretchen Miller

He said what???? Off-color comments that offend.

What happens when an inappropriate comment made at the company “watering hole” severely offends one (or all!) of your employees?

 Picture this – the team has gone out for drinks after work to celebrate meeting a sales goal or securing a new client or maybe just because it’s Friday. The atmosphere is raucous and fun, everyone seems to be having a good time and then it happens. Someone forgets they are not out with their pals and blurts out a cringe –worthy sexist remark, racial joke or horrifying personal story. You witness this and like everyone else you give the obligatory uncomfortable laugh, change the subject and hope everyone forgets about it. Too bad, they never do.

 The next day at work you overhear a couple employees talking about the incident. It’s clear the gossip mill has kicked in and you are not going to be able to ignore it. But what can you do? This took place AFTER work – surely you have no control over what your employees or co-workers say and do while outside the workplace. Perhaps, but the reality is that we spend more time at work than anywhere else and if an individual’s behavior lowers morale it must be addressed.

This is a sensitive situation but in this example you can use yourself as the impetus for the conversation. Since you witnessed the remark you can call in your colleague or subordinate and tell them exactly how you felt when they said what they did. Be as specific as possible. Don’t dance around it be as clear as you possible can. As an HR professional I have found that frequently, people are not told how their behavior impacts those around them. I have seen many shocked looks in these situations – these individuals simply had no idea. Why? Because no one ever told them!

 Rarely will you see someone protest your point of view. If they happen to disagree with you, insisting you must have lost your sense of humor, you can relate further observations. Perhaps this has happened in the past and you never said anything? In addition, you may have observed the body language of your co-workers and sharing this may get your point across. Be careful not to dig up every offense or to drag too many other people into this discussion. Do your best to stay focused on the specific comment or behavior and how it impacted you. If possible, involve your HR representative.

  It will be easiest for you if you assume the best of intentions meaning, this person had no intention of offending anyone. They simply wanted to have a good time. By telling the truth you are actually helping a great deal both personally and professionally. After all no one wants to be that social pariah that everyone avoids at the holiday party!

Posted by Gretchen Miller on June 18, 2007 | Comments (6)