Link This |
Email this |
Blog This |
Comments (0)
Consensus Building: An Easy Way to Get "Unstuck"
January 13, 2008
Last week a client asked me to sit in on a branding meeting to help with some packaging decisions that needed to be made. At first, I sat back and observed. But after awhile of listening to two of the men in the room disagree on the philosophical positioning of the product, and actually get nowhere but farther away from understanding one another, I piped in. While I happened to agree with my client, which should have made things easier, all it did was help make things worse. My point of view added a third perspective thereby complicating matters and ultimately turning the conversation into a three-way, two-on-one.
I could not understand why the consultant (let’s call him Bob) didn’t see what we were seeing. It was so obvious. He just stuck to his guns and defended his opinion. Finally, I got tired of feeling like I was in a tennis match with the ball perpetually being bounced off my head. So I said, “Wait a minute! Bob, why don't you want to put the words that we want where we want them? Explain your resistance to me..."
It turned out that his answer to my question was actually different from the argument he’d been putting forth. I couldn’t believe what a big difference it made to simply change the question. Instead of butting heads as to what made his opinion better, we heard about an experience he’d had that was informing his desire to go in a direction other than the one we thought was best. Then I asked him to give me a specific example so I could further understand where he was coming from. It was a compelling argument. In fact so much so, that he changed our minds.
As I had sat and watched the conversation unfold, I realized how easy (and almost organic) it was to get caught up in pushing an agenda. But it was also clear that when it started going in circles, it was time to switch gears. I was surprised by how easily we resolved the matter when I asked to understand what thinking was underneath the argument.
So next time you find yourself in a debate going nowhere, stop and ask why. I suspect you’ll be as surprised as I was by the outcome.
Posted by Donna Flagg on January 13, 2008 | Comments (0)
