Gretchen Miller

Working with Family: Practical Solutions for the Inevitable Drama
June 1, 2007

When you clash with a co-worker it can be difficult and uncomfortable to overcome your differences to the extent that you can both lead productive, successful careers. When that co-worker is also a member of your family – conflicts can impact every aspect of your life. If by choice or by happenstance you are involved in a family business you are keenly aware of this difficult challenge. In my last blog I offered some suggestions for working with family members, this blog offers ideas for those ready to make some changes.

First, it is time to commit to having an honest conversation with your family member. Take some time to think about what you want to discuss, make notes to organize your thoughts and ideas for making the situation better. Keep an open mind and be prepared to listen to the other side. Going into the conversation assuming the best of intentions will help lessen the defensive feelings and behaviors family tend to provoke. If possible, involve your Human Resource Manager and/or Legal Council who will be able to advise you or act as a mediator.

Assuming that you want or need to continue working in the family business – here are some ideas for changing your situation.

• Roles and responsibilities.
  Evaluate your role in the company and that of your family member. Could you modify or change either job in such a way that you will be able to get along better or effectively avoid each other? Perhaps you move from sales to operations?
  If you are the owner of the company or in a senior management role you may have more decision making power in this regard. If you do not have a senior role in the company, consult with a senior member of the team and/or your HR manager.
• Department or location.
  Maybe it’s less about your role in the company and more about geography. If your company has more than one location it may be prudent for you to change locations. Even if it is a different floor or another section of the building it may help.
• Work schedules.
  Explore different work schedules. Depending on how your business operates it might be possible to work different schedules – early shift vs. late shift or weekends vs. weekdays or part-time vs. full-time. There is quite a bit that can be accomplished from home and via the Internet. Could either of you work effectively from home?
• Time and space.
  Take a break, even if it is just a few days. A little (or if you are lucky a lot) of time and space can re-energize you and give you the strength and perspective you need. If getting away for a few days is not possible try to go out of the office for lunch or a walk around the block each day.
• Entrepreneurial venture.
  If you come from a family business there must be an entrepreneurial streak in you somewhere. This might be the ideal time to open a branch office or extend your current offering into a new category. Investigate the possibility – you might be able to grow the business and regain your sanity.
• Exit strategy.
  If or when all else fails it just might be time to say good-bye. But who says good- bye and how? This will require careful examination given the unique circumstances of your business. Depending on your position you may be able to buy-out your relatives and start over with a new team. Or perhaps it’s just time for you to resign and try your hand elsewhere. Either way an exit strategy should protect not only the individuals involved but the business as well. It is always best to consult legal council as you are determining the details of your departure or the departure of any family member.

Working with family is both challenging and rewarding – much like any other job. However, those who work in a family business are keenly aware of the added stress, pressure and emotional energy that come with the territory. Regardless of your individual disagreements and opposing views you most likely share a desire for your business to be successful. The last thing you want is for your conflicts to negatively impact the rest of the company. That’s why it is up to you to find a way to make it work.

If you have created a unique way of working harmoniously within a family business or if any of these suggestions are useful to you, please comment on this blog!

Read more: Working with Family: How to Survive.

Posted by Gretchen Miller on June 1, 2007 | Comments (0)