Donna Flagg

The Naysaying Know it All: How to Cope

I wonder, why does doing something new or different bring out such defenses in certain people? Is it insecurity? Or, fear maybe?  I don't understand what could possibly be so scary about exploring new ways of doing things, especially if it means discovering ways to improve? 

So often I hear, “No, that won’t work. We’ve already tried it,” and I just don’t get it. How can people think they know everything about everything all the time? It’s one thing for aspiring fortune tellers, but professional business people? I don’t think so.  Maybe it’s a simple matter of the world being made up of two types of people: the ones who say, “why not?” and the others who say, “why bother?” But I doubt that too. 

It’s amazing to me that no matter how many groups of open-minded, optimistic, and confident people I come across, there’s always one who isn’t. And it’s that one negative person whose attitude is enough to sabotage the otherwise earnest efforts of others. They like to roll their eyes, let out heavy sighs and make their presence known. The problem is that left to their own devices, they suck every last bit of energy from the room. 

The way I see it, we have a few choices: 1) we can remove them; 2) we can ignore them; 3) we can confront them and demand that they stop; or 4) we can try to help them understand their own issues in hopes to stretch them beyond their blinkered views. 

Now I know that the first three seem to be the most direct, but they are also the least effective. Not to mention the fact that it is more humane to give someone a chance than to make snap judgments. If we aren’t open to understanding what makes these people so difficult, then we are as guilty as they are for being closed-minded.

So to really know the naysaying know-it-all and the degree to which he or she is afflicted, is to simply ask the question: Why are they doing it?  Doing so will reveal the crucial answer: Can they or can’t they change? Once his or her willingness to improve is determined, a proper strategy can be decided upon and implemented.   

Posted by Donna Flagg on May 20, 2008 | Comments (2)