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Peeve of the Week: Hypersensitivity

July 3, 2009
Isn’t it the worst when someone makes a conversation impossible because he or she is hypersensitive?   It’s as if you’re trying to have a normal, healthy conversation, but suddenly find yourself in some weird, defensive psychological space that belongs to the other person, and that has nothing to do with the matter at hand.  And once you’re sucked in, it can be very difficult to get out, which means that the chances of making any progress are slim-to-none.

So, what I like to try before giving up is offering some advice given to me by a client who had worked for Donald Trump.  When I asked him what was the single most important thing he took away from interacting and negotiating with “The Donald,” he said, “That it’s not personal.” I learned that saying that to someone works (sometimes) because what you're really conveying is, "It's not about you."  This in turn can help the person see that his or her focus has been displaced by personal emotion and drama rather than where it belongs - on the actual content of the conversation.

Happy 4th of July everyone!!

Posted by Donna Flagg on July 3, 2009 | Comments (2)