Is the Economy Creating Awkward Social Situations for You?

Suzanna de Baca -- Expert Business Source, 11/10/2008 7:24:00 AM

With the economy in crisis, are you picking up the dinner or drinks bill for friends who are experiencing financial hardship? Or, conversely, are you declining dinner invitations to expensive restaurants in an attempt to cut costs, but making up excuses so friends don’t realize you’re budgeting?
In an era marked by layoffs and economic uncertainty all around, many people are finding themselves in new and awkward social situations either because they have more money than friends do or because they have less money than they did previously. The emotionally complex aspects of money are coming to the forefront as people grapple with what money means to them, to their lifestyles, and even to their social standing.
The difficult economy can affect those who are well off as much as those who are suffering, albeit in very different psychological ways. Many wealthy people seem to be downplaying their affluence, for fear of offending friends who have been hard hit by the economy. Those who are sensitive to their friends’ distress may not want to make them feel uncomfortable discussing shopping trips, vacations, or investments that have performed well. And many of those who have suffered financially are trying to keep up appearances, avoiding situations in which their hardship might be obvious.
I was interviewed by Details Magazine about this phenomenon for an article entitled “The New Status Guilt” by Kayleen Shaefer. The article came out in the holiday issue and addresses how, as the caption says, “guys with big wallets are working extra hard to hide their success from their friends.”
Shaefer discovered that among Details’ demographic group (young, affluent men), many men who are doing well are downscaling parties and entertaining, hiding expensive purchases or even deciding to postpone some luxury spending for fear that it would make friends uncomfortable. For example, if your best buddy worked at Lehman, it might be sensitive not to brag about the weekend jaunt to Paris when he doesn’t know how he’s going to pay the mortgage.
The social aspects of money have always been complex. An economic downturn can generate even greater disparities between social strata, creating uncomfortable situations. If a great deal of your identity revolves around your job, income or net worth, then it can be socially disconcerting when your circumstances change. If your wealth is unaffected, it can be equally problematic dealing with friends who can no longer do some of the things you did together before.
In times like these, we are often forced to look deeply at our lives and our identities, asking ourselves if we have place too much emphasis on money or on keeping up with the Joneses. Perhaps one of the benefits of this economy is the opportunity to reevaluate what money means to us and to our friendships.

Suzanna de Baca is president of Private Capital Solutions Group. Securities offered through Broker Dealer Financial Services Corp. Member FINRA & SIPC. Investment Advisor Representative of Investment Advisors Corp., A Registered Investment Advisor. Material discussed is meant for general illustration and/or informational purposes only and it is not to be construed as tax, legal or investment advice. Although the information has been gathered from sources believed reliable, please note that individual situations can vary, therefore the information should be relied upon when coordinated with individual professional advice.